DANGER ZONE: SELF-CLEANING TOILETS

This weekend something quite traumatic happened to me. 

It all started when I was walking around Paris with a friend I had met in the South of France when we were both doing workaway.  We had had a few coffees and I needed to use the restroom – normal, right? A few minutes later we passed one of the self-cleaning toilets that are around Paris.  I’m not a big fan of public restrooms, but I figured it would be just fine.  This was my first mistake. 

There is a voice that talks to you inside of the restroom (self-cleaning toilet, bathroom, metal building – whatever you want to call it), giving you directions, and letting you know when to press the button to open and close the door.  Everything was just fine, until that voice told me to open the door and exit because cleaning was about to start.  I pressed the button.  The door didn’t open; I pressed the button again, but the door still didn’t open.  At this point the toilet began folding into the wall and was getting sprayed down.  I was getting a little nervous because I still couldn’t get the door open, but I was fine.  I continued to try to get the door open but it wouldn’t budge.  So, I started pulling on the emergency handle.  Nothing.  Then, within seconds water started spraying out from the bottom of the walls (from around the knees down).  So, I went into ninja mode and jumped onto the walls holding myself up with my legs and one arm, using my other arm to pry open the emergency exit.  Finally, the door opened a little and she heard me screaming and helped me open it just enough to jump out.  At this point I realized I had very wet socks and shoes and didn’t know if I should be totally disgusted or just laugh.  At least the water was clean, but still a toilet – a restroom – exploded on me.  It was like going through a car wash with your windows down.  All was well in the world once I had dry socks and could change, but that was the first and LAST time I will ever be using one of the self-clean restrooms. 

Consider yourselves warned.    

 This is the evil thing that exploded on me. Those girls have no idea what is about to happen to them. 

This is the evil thing that exploded on me. Those girls have no idea what is about to happen to them.